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Haddock's Uprising

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Summary Edit

Vox warns the Warden Treepelt not to release Peach from her maximum security detainment. The Warden agrees and harshly instructs the prisoners of the Grounded Dungeon to continue their pointless manual labor. Her treatment toward the prisoners ignites Haddock's anger, who is imprisoned in the second lowest cell of the Grounded Dungeon. Haddock threatens to fight the Warden, accusing her of tyrannical treatment toward the prisoners. Tensions rise and the Warden threatens to execute him, saying she will at the very least begin digging an even lower cell - a basement - in which to place dissenters. Haddock says he will wait for the Warden to emerge from her digging so that he can fight her with a force he shall have raised.

Full Text Edit

Vox Arnason: Do NOT, under ANY CIRCUMSTANCES, allow Peach to leave her maximum security detainment. The last thing we need is for the rest of the dungeon to have something to follow. The less hope they have, the better.

The Warden: ah, yes, you’re right.

NO NONE OF YOU ARE LEAVING YOUR SPOTS GET BACK INTO POSITION AND START HAULING THOSE POINTLESS BUCKETS OF WATER.

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: You guys are becoming more and more like Alvin the Treacherous and Excellinor’s regime every day. It’s supposed to be the Grounded Dungeon, not the Amber Slavelands. How is your rule superior to the lives of those with their sad headcanons in the dungeon? You better be careful, Warden, because a King AND a goddess are in your dungeon… are you sure you want to provoke us too much?

The Warden: A king and a goddess you may be in the world beyond, runt, but here you are my prisoners and shall remain so as long as I have air to breathe and claws to sharpen.

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: Oooooohhhh briiiiing it onnnnnn!  I do not know if Peach the Goddess shall balk, but I, HADDOCK KING OF THE WILDERWEST AND THE GROUNDED DUNGEON, OH HEAR MY NAME AND TREMBLE, UGH UGH! SHALL NE’ER ABIDE SUCH ANTAGONISM!

The Warden: Rise if you must, Your Majesty, but others have gone before you and all have failed to displace me. Titles only have I lost, not my authority. You are no different from the rest; what makes you think you can stand against the might of the Bewildertree, Great Warden of the Grounded Dungeon and Destroyer of Peaches?? What say you?!

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: What do I say? What do I say?!! THIS. DAY. WE. FIGHT!

The Warden: [cackles] I SAY!! YOU AND WHAT ARMY, MY LORD?

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: Says the lonely, single Warden guarding a prison full of your own enemies? Who really is outmatched? Ha! Even I alone could best you, one-on-one, you horrid oppressor of the masses. You think one flaming sword makes you invincible to the POWAH of the DARK SIDE OF THE FANDOM?

The Warden: MY HONOR HAS BEEN AFFRONTED. STATE THE DAY OF YOUR EXECUTION, GOOD SIR, FOR IF THIS IS TO END IN FIRE THEN I’LL SURE AS HECKIE BE LAUGHIN’ YOU DOWN YA LITTLE PUNK WHO DO YA THINK YA ARE FLAPPIN YER JAWS YOU’RE GOING DOWNNN

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: Oh, is that right? My execution? It takes more than a little fire to kill me. And unlike Stoick, I really mean that. Just like Alvin can never keep a hold of his own enemy, I’ll slip away from your paws, time and time and time again. Back down now before you make a greater fool of yourself.

The Warden: Aye, you all saw it! He avoided the challenge! You stand as the self-appointed leader of a great battalion and yet you shout from behind my cold steel bars with the fandom in tearful RUINS behind you! Well, I laugh in your face as you dig your grave, for at this moment, I carve another cell even deeper than the great Peach’s, and I’ll have you know if I hear another word out of any of you, they shall instantly be silenced and sent forth to wallow in the depths of the dungeon’s BASEMENT!!! You fear maximum-security confinement? This is isolation like you’ve never dreamed of!! Stand down while you still have a chance at daylight, king!!

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: Hah! You ignorant nincompoop! I am not self-appointed - your own defeater from the last battle crowned me king. I rule by the right and might deserved of me. You shall never silence me, you shall never break me, you shall never control me. Go ahead then, abandon your post. Instead of guarding the dungeon, go on, dig a deeper cell to satisfy your bruised, honor-centered ego and satiate your anger. Prove to everyone what a corrupt keeper of the dungeons you are. I do not avoid your challenge, Warden. I shall fight, but you shall lay no paw on me. I will wait for the day you emerge from your digging and retaliate with a greater force than you could ever handle.

The Warden: A sound and displeased farewell to you, comrade. And forget not that I have recruited another, whom I call upon for duty of construction, snowflake1814—whose icon shall be ignored at the present time for reasons best left unstated—but know that I am not alone in my endeavors! There be two of us where I see only one man standing while his friends lurk in the shadows! Farewell, indeed! Fear the day when the Bewildertree rises from her digging!!

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