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Full Text Edit

Part 1 Edit

Blunt Donz reclined in his father’s throne, slouching greatly. He was twenty five years old, tall, muscular, and had a thick, coarse head of hair that was similar that to a lion's mane. He had enough facial hair to make two neat, brownish grey brains coming down from his chin. His nose was long, and his face perpetually looked as if he was up to no good…which he was.

Cracking his neck with one hand, he reached over and grabbed up a sling shot, loading a grape into it and firing it into one of the servants heads. The man jumped and then growled, stiff as he turned around. “Must you do that?” he asked tersely. 

"Better than getting hit with a rock," Blunt replied, giving a wolfish grin.

"Blunt," the man replied. "Your lack of responsibility-"

"Good god," Blunt said, squinting. "Is that you Landrester?"

The servant scoffed. “Very funny, you know I’m not nearly as stiff as him.”

"But your still stiff darling," Blunt said, clicking his tongue as he gave the man a wink.

The servant closed his eyes, exercising his patience. “Blunt…” he said again in the same tone of voice. “You must stop doing things like that…”

"Things like what?" Blunt asked. "This?" and he did the action again.

"Yes!" the servant replied, exasperated. "If you were doing that to the women-"

"Which I do,"

"Ermm…yes…so you do. But really Blunt to me, a forty year old man?"

Blunt shrugged, leaning back and circling with his hand. “What can I say? I think your blade spot is arousing.”

"Oh for heavens sake!" The servant said, marching away, another grape hitting his head. 

Blunt snickered as he left, popping a small nut into his mouth and chewing on it thoughtfully as he pulled out a paper and quill. “Middle aged men…” he murmured to himself. “Continue to freak out when flirted with…fascinating.” the young man glanced up, hearing the sound of marching boots outside. His face sobered as he stood up, his light blue eyes becoming intense and wide. “Dad…” he breathed, jogging out of the room. He ran outside and skidded to a stop, his breath catching. He saw blood stained blankets, laying over the forms of five corpses, which were being carried in on platforms by grime faced men. ”Oh my god dad! Dad!” Blunt yelled, running over as the procession stopped.

A guard stood in his way. “You don’t want to see this son,” he said.

Blunt shoved him aside. “The Hel I do!” he said, grasping one of the tarps and pulling it aside. “Oh!” he covered his nose, seeing Landrester’s charred form. “Good…Odin.” he turned away. “I always knew that wade would spontaneously combust but…Odine,” he swore again quietly. He looked at the guard. “Which one is my father?”

The guard shifted. “Sir…his head, it’s not…” he sighed, giving up. “That one Sir,” he said, pointing.

Blunt slowly approached the covered form, his lips pressing together. He pulled up Tal’s sheet, and then dropped it again quickly, ducking his head. “You…stupid…bastard. You got yourself killed…I told you to leave him alone. You just couldn’t listen to me could you?”

"It was that monster Stonegit," the guard said bitterly.

Blunt starred down at the fallen forms, slowly inhaling, and then raising his head. “I want to be made chief at dawn tomorrow. No sooner…no later. I have to prepare.” his jaw clenched. “Get my father’s ship loaded with all of his valuables by tonight and have it well guarded. We will have the funeral and ceremony back to back.” he turned walking away, brushing a bit of moisture from his eye. “And leave me in peace.”

Part 2 Edit

The servant that had been “graped” earlier knocked on the young, chief to be’s door. “Blunt?” he called. “We expected you to be up by now…are you even awake.” he grimaced. “There better not be a girl in there again.” He said, pushing open the door. He gasped, seeing an empty bed with a note pinned to the backrest. He snatched it up. 

-"Going to the Ice Fortress of King Haddock. If anybody follows me I’ll fucking ruin all of our surrounding diplomatic relationships through a series of extremely unfortunate pranks that will be in very poor taste. Don’t test me! I give my love to whatever sexy animal who finds this note. Sincerely, Blunt."-

"Oh Thor," the servant squeaked, running outside. He ran to the docks, the guard’s that had been posted by the Chief’s personal ship meeting him.

"Blunt came up to us and told us a man had broken into his bath! He ordered us to confront him! By the time we realized it was a ruse it was to late and…well" he pointed out to the ocean line, where the ship was sailing away.

Turning red, the servant ran to the edge of the dock. “BLUNT!” he bellowed. “YOU GET BACK HERE RIGHT NOW! RIGHT NOW YOU HEAR ME!…BLUNT! BLUUUUUNT!”

On the ship, the young man gave a smug smile as he felt the breeze blow across his face. “Bla, bla, bla,” he sighed. “Save it sweety, I got things to do and people to see.” Then without a second thought, Blunt sailed out of his villages sight. 

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