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"Pie Fight" is a March 13, 2014 Alternate Universe chat roleplay.

Summary Edit

Full Text Edit

Greg Ericson: throws a pie at fishy face

Akira Skye: does the same

Grey Bergman: GUYS STOP THROWING PIES AT THE KING!

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: THANK YOU

Grey Bergman: SKYE!

Clover Rose: *throws a pie at the king*

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: Destroys pie with sword

The Warden: [grumbles] Children, all of you....

Clover Rose: yes, isn't it fun warden?

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second:' says a temper-tantrum kitty

Akkey Black: THROW ALL THE PIES

Akira Skye: Oh hush demon, you know you love us.

Grey Bergman: AKKEY!

Akira Skye: YES

Akkey Black: *opens portals*

Akira Skye: Starts kicking pies at King

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: Heldammit

The Warden: Not when you are throwing food at each other for no particular reason.

Akira Skye: Oh come on and join in! It's really fun!

The Warden: [rolls eyes]

Grey Bergman: THANK YOU NALA!

Akira Skye: PARTY POOPERS

The Warden: GREY

Akkey Black: *grabs all the pecan pie for herself*

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: continues eating ice cream

Grey Bergman: THORDAMMIT!

Greg Ericson: come now sister let them have their fun

The Warden: HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO--

Akkey Black: Gonna eat it all and none of y'all getting any

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: in a whip cream bowl with a measuring cup spoon

Akira Skye: Pelts King with a pie, and Tree

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: no

Grey Bergman: Sorry... *innocent face*

The Warden: Why don't I just tell everyone my FULL NAME AND BE DONE WITH IT.

Akira Skye: Hmm?

The Warden: IT'LL BE FASTER.

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: Why is everyone throwing pies at MEEEEEEEE

Akkey Black: not me, i moved to eating them

Greg Ericson: because only you know your full name?

Akira Skye: BECAUSE YOU'RE AN EASY TARGET

Clover Rose: because you're a brat

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: EXcuuuusssseeee MEEEE????

Akira Skye: You heard me!

The Warden: [quietly] Excuse. Me.

Grey Bergman: Alright that's it! Prepare for pie battle! *throws pie at Clover*

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: I AM NOT A BRAT AND NOT AN EASY TARGET

I HAVE A SWORD

Akira Skye: Pelts with another pie

Clover Rose: YOU ARE TOO A BRAT *throws another pie*

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: CHARGES YOU

Akira Skye: EASY TARGET

Clover Rose: oh shit *runs*

The Warden: And Greg, that...may or may not be true...

Akira Skye: Runs

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: KEEPS RUNNING AFTER BOTH OF YOU

YOU WILL PAY FOR THIS

Akira Skye: Clover, split! *Runs in a different direction

Clover Rose: *runs the opposite direction*

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: Runs after Clover

The Warden: [retreats to the side and enjoys the show]

Akira Skye: *Pelts king with ANOTHER pie*

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: WARDEN YOU WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN

Clover Rose: oh come on

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: cuts through pie with sword.

The Warden: You look rather like a pie yourself, Your Majesty.

Grey Bergman: *bending over in laughter hardly able to brethate*

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: tackles Clover

Akira Skye: Frick...

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN

Akira Skye: Runs towards Clover and King

The Warden: Nothing, nothing...

Greg Ericson: would a fish pie taste good do you think?

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: YOU ARE GOING TO JAIL FOR THIS

The Warden: Just that you might need to take a bath.

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: SHUT UP

Akira Skye: Kicks King* YOU NEEDA CALM DOWN

The Warden: [chuckles]

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: swings leg and knocks you off your feet

Grey Bergman: O___o Sir....with our guards, they wont stay there long

Clover Rose: *squishes a pie into king's face*

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: aurrrrrhghghghghghhhh!

Akira Skye: ow...

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: wipes pie off face

The Warden: [boredly] Let me know when you're all finished...

Akira Skye: *Boops King in the nose* Missed a spot!

Grey Bergman: (trying not to laugh) Are you okay, sir?

Greg Ericson: why not join in on the fun sister?

Grey Bergman: I'm good bud

The Warden: [raises eyebrow] Me? I don't think so.

Akira Skye: Com'n Grey!

Grey Bergman: *smashes a pie in Greg's face* NOT!

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: get me outtttt of heeerrrreeeee

Clover Rose: *throws a pie at the warden*

Greg Ericson: throws a pie at nala

The Warden: Oh, no, dear King, you won't let me inside your mind, I can't help you.

[pies go right through her] Oops.

Akira Skye: Smooshes pies on Warden*

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: Warden, what's that mean?

Grey Bergman: throws a pie at Greg

The Warden: [sighs] Are you quite done.

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: I WANT TO BE DONE BEFORE THIS BEGAN

Akira Skye: Throws a pie at Grey

Greg Ericson: you are quite dull sister you know that?

The Warden: [chuckles at king]

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: I hate you Warden.

Grey Bergman: tackles Skye and Greg

The Warden: Just keep your barriers up, Your Majesty.

Akira Skye: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!

The Warden: You never know who could...

Clover Rose: *squishes a pie into the king's hair* ehehehehe

The Warden: ...slip in.

Grey Bergman: Uh...Warden...?

The Warden: [grins]

Asuka Guranini: Uh... Wrong choice of words there sweetie. Be thankful I was listening in the entire time

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: * fumes *

Asuka Guranini: What is going on here!?

King! Go clean yourself off right now!

Greg Ericson: no

The Warden: Just stop distracting him and perhaps I'll lose interest.

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: I WANT TO THANK YOU FOOL.

Asuka Guranini: As for the rest of you... Oh, I have half a mind to scrub you all of myself!

Greg Ericson: throws pie

Asuka Guranini: WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME!?

The Warden: He's temptingly open right now.

Grey Bergman: Asuka...

Asuka Guranini: OH, I KNOW YOU DIDN'T

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: Fool.

Greg Bergman: would you like a pie to throw at him?

Asuka Guranini: GO CLEAN YOURSELF RIGHT NOW MISTER!

Grey Bergman: GREG!

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: stands up to fight you all with sword against pies

Asuka Guranini: WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE YOUR GREAT GREAT GREAT GRANDPARENTS MADE ME BATHE

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: then get AWAY from me

Asuka Guranini: GO BATHE RIGHT NOW MISTER!

OR I WILL SCRUB YOU MYSELF

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: after YOU get your due punishment!

The Warden: Overdramatic, much?

Asuka Guranini: EXCUSE ME?!''

Excuse ME!?

Grey Bergman: Okay...Asuka I dont think you're allowed to bathe the king

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: It is not overdramatic to be angry at this insubordinate behavior.

I bathe myself, thank you.

Asuka Guranini: *Grabs King's sword and grabs him by the ear* You are coming with me right now young man!

The Warden: Where have i seen this behavior before...

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: GET OFF ME!

The Warden: It was when he was four.

Asuka Guranini: THEN BATHE

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: grabs your wrist and turns it against you

WARDEN SHUT UP

Asuka Guranini: YOU CHILD

The Warden: [laughs]

Grey Bergman: O.o

The Warden: I have every right to say it, Gareth. I was /there/.

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: Uses body against you to throw you to the ground.

Greg Ericson: well played sister Asuka Guranini: Falls to the ground

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: shut up

steps on you

Do NOT treat me like a child.

Asuka Guranini: OH HELL NOW

DO NOT DO THAT

The Warden: But you're acting like one.

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: THEN DO NOT TOUCH ME

Asuka Guranini: This is your only warning.

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: NO I AM NOT

YOu DO NOT 'warn' THE KING

Asuka Guranini: Swipes you off in one fell move and then steps on you* OH REALLY!?

Greg Ericson: you like a snack to watch the show Nala?

The Warden: [sighs and steps forward] Break it up.

Grey Bergman: *facepalms* This isnt going to end well

The Warden: I think I will be just fine, Greg.

Grey Bergman: Warden, shall we break this fight up together?

'''The Warden: We can only try.

Grey Bergman: I'm ready if you are

Asuka Guranini: NOT UNTIL YOU TWO BATHE AS WELL.

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: SHUT UP ALL OF YOU I AM THE KING LET ME ALOOOOONE

EVERYONE LEAVE THIS ROOM

The Warden: [raises eyebrow] "You two"?

Asuka Guranini: YES, YOU TWO

Grey Bergman: Excuse me?

The Warden: [laughs] I'd like to see you try.

Grey Bergman: Asuka I am second-in-command. You can't order me around

Asuka Guranini: You sir, are coming with me. *Grabs Haddock by the arm and drags him off again

The Warden: Let him go, elf.

Grey Bergman: Asuka, release him!

He's a grown man! He can bathe himself!

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: Get OFF me.

NOW

Asuka Guranini: Then you make him stop behaving like a child! *Lets him go*

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: before I throw you to the ground again

thank you

Asuka Guranini: I warned you about that.

The Warden: [grins] Don't tempt me.

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: brushes shoulder indignantly.

marches off.

Asuka Guranini: SOMEONE MAKE HIM BATHE

The Warden: [calls after] You forgot something, Your Majesty.

Grey Bergman: YOU DONT ORDER THE KING AROUND!

Greg Ericson: don't touch the water

The Warden: [points at cape on the ground]

Asuka Guranini: YOU ARE NOT HELPING

Actually speaking of bathing... I haven't done so in a while... Ta-ta! *Skips off*

The Warden: [wrinkles nose] That was not information that needed to come to light.

Akira Skye: What. The. Hel?

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: Good. Odin.

I'm just leaving now.

Grey Bergman: Never a dull moment around here, huh sir?

The Warden: 'hought you didn't care for Odin, Gareth...

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: HEL'S HANDS SHUT UP

The Warden: [chuckle]

Grey Bergman: O.o

Akira Skye: YOU STARTED THIS WHOLE THING

Greg Ericson: hel's HANDS?

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: I didn't start it.

Grey Bergman: Believe me, I've heard worse, Greg

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: I didn't ask for any pie.

The Warden: That depends on what you are speaking of, king.

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: ...........................excuse me?

The Warden: You heard me.

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: say it again. Dare you.

Akira Skye: What even is this anymore...?

The Warden: [gets close, bends down to his height] Depends. On. What. You're. Speaking. Of.

Akira Skye: I think this is going a little too far there...

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: elaborate. * seethes *

The Warden: Where to begin, my liege, where to begin...

Grey Bergman: No don't elaborate! please don't elaborate!

Clover Rose: PLEASE DON'T

Grey Bergman: elaborating ends in tears!

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: ELABORATE NOW

The Warden: Are you afraid of something, little rebels?

Clover Rose: *clamps a hand over the king's mouth*

Grey Bergman: I REALLY dont think we need to elaborate

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Akira Skye: Me too!

Grey Bergman: Why dont we go prepare for ragnorak?

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: elbow Clover harshly

Akira Skye: King! Shut up! For the love of ODIN shut up!

The Warden: Let him speak, half-cat.

Akira Skye: OH HELL NAW

*Pegs King to the ground*

Grey Bergman: WARDEN

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: SPEAK

THE WARDEN IS AS IMPORTANT AS RAGNAROK

MY DIGNITY

The Warden: Silence, Grey.

Grey Bergman: Ok yeah that, but Ragnorak has more importance Sir!

Akira Skye: Don't play the dignity card with me. It won't work.

Grey Bergman: *grins innocently at Haddock*

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: all I want is to hear the Warden speak. Then we can let this situation behind us.

Akira Skye: How about we just leave this behind NOW?

Grey Bergman: *sighs* You're going to listen to me are you?

The Warden: [darkly] Let me make my point, mortals.

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: my word is law. follow it.

Grey Bergman: -__- Very well

Akira Skye: Like I have to. You kicked out my man.

Grey Bergman: SKYE!

The Warden: Close your mouth before I close it for you.

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: WHAT

Akira Skye: Bite me, wench.

The Warden: ...

Grey Bergman: Odin's butt cheeks....

The Warden: As I was saying.

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: * ignores Skye *

Akira Skye: What? No agitation?

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: speak

Warden

The Warden: I'd take responsibility for a few things, if I were you.

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: Are you saying I take no responsibility, warden? * huff *

Akira Skye: Er... I just realized what kind of position I'm in... *Hops of off King*

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: thank. you.

The Warden: [shrugs] Not that I have seen.

Akira Skye: Bite. Me.

Greg Ericson: bites Skye

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: I do as well take responsibility, demon.

Akira Skye: H-hey!

The Warden: [huffs] Well, I'm glad.

Greg Ericson: nom

The Warden: [disinterestedly] Greg, don't make me make you let go.

Akira Skye: A-are you still biting me...?

The Warden: [realizes] I-I mean...

Greg Ericson: you said to

The Warden: Greg, you have three seconds.

Akira Skye: Er... I-I wouldn't bite me anymore if I were you...

Grey Bergman: Greg, stop biting now!

Greg Ericson: it hasnt been 2 seconds yet

Grey Bergman: Greg Ericson....

The Warden: [forces Greg to stop biting]

Greg Ericson: that is no longer my name

Akira Skye: Stop biting me or I on't be able to control my actions towards you!

Grey Bergman: Alright bud let go!

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: leaves conflict

Greg Ericson: nala already made me

Grey Bergman: Honestly, Warden, it's like we're taking of a 2-year-old

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: you're not talking about me

The Warden: [chuckles]

No, but we could be.

Akira Skye: And if they are?

Grey Bergman: No sir not you! I meant Greg

Akira Skye: It's not like they'd be WRONG.

Grey Bergman: Skye....

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: good

Grey Bergman: *grins innocently at Haddock*

The Warden: I'd leave now, little king, before more of your childhood gets spoiled...

Gareth Ragnar Haddock the Second: I'm leaving and you're not saying any more.

The Warden: Maybe I will, maybe I won't.

Akira Skye: Please heed Asuka's advice...

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